Milty: Hello, disgusting flesh-pods! I’ve taken the liberty of bringing in Subject M to defend his comic, Area 42! How are you today, Mister M?
Subject M: Terribly confused. What’s this about a comic? How did I get here?
Milty: That’s just super. First question. What did you do to wind up in jail? Theft? Murder? Genocide? How many counts of each?
Subject M: I didn’t do any of those, really! They just put me in a cell to keep me safe. It’s not like it was even locked or anything. The whole thing was very pleasant.
Milty: Then why did you escape?
Subject M: I didn’t escape. I was never a prisoner.
Milty: A likely story. Tell me about Charleston. Ceesia asked me to ask you directly about his love life. Does he have one?
Subject M: I think he’s had some crushes but I don’t think he’s ever dated anyone.
Milty: You’re probably slowing him down. These ladies… “Imogene” and “Jeanette” and perhaps even this “Sile” see him with you and run the other way.
Subject M: Jeanette? I wasn’t even around for her!
Milty: A-ha! Then you admit that being in your presence made Charleston repulsive to women!
Subject M: I didn’t admit any of that! You’re worse than cable news!
Milty: You’re a political moderate, then?
Subject M: I don’t care about politics.
Milty: I’ll mark that down as a yes.
Subject M: Wait, is that some kind of questionnaire?
Milty: Don’t try to understand. Your novel. What was it about?
Subject M: It started off as a fantasy novel but turned into a weird pulp thing halfway through.
Milty: It sounds dreadful, but still better than Area 42.
Subject M: How do you know all this? And I really want to know what you meant by comic.
Milty: Oh, I’m sorry, but that’s all the time we have for today. I’d like to thank our guest, Subject M, whose memories of this event will be almost immediately erased. Until next time!
Subject M: Wait, what?

Milty Reviews Comics and Area 42 are property of Mike Podgor, who you can support on Patreon.