Matt Heywood sat in his seventh period English class and looked out the window, bored out of his mind. He was already the smartest kid in his school, so there was nothing here he could learn–unless it was how to doodle his in his notebook, which he was mastering with incredible speed. While many women in Matt’s life wanted to be with him, he knew that none of them were his true love. It was her that he sketched, knowing that, someday, he would meet this mysterious woman. He sketched another portrait of her–each was more perfect than the last–and forced his mind to wander, lest it become engulfed in the tedium that was The Grapes of Wrath.

Suddenly, he looked out the window and saw the sky tear open, allowing a gargantuan warship to blot out the sun and terrify the rest of his class. Matt would not be so easily cowed, however. He opened the nearest window and slid down the water-pipe just as the inhabitants of the warship touched down, unleashing fiery death upon the other students.

Derek Marshall screamed as he ran past, engulfed in flames, and Matt considered saving him. Despite the fact that Derek had always tortured him, Matt was above such petty things as revenge. But then part of the school fell on Derek and the point was moot.

“You lived as you died,” said Matt, coolly, and he saw a shaft of pure darkness shoot from the ship.

A girl ran up next to him and grabbed his arm. Matt couldn’t remember her name, but knew her for her dark hair and propensity for short skirts and low-cut shirts. She was trembling, and asked, “What’s going on?”

“We’re being invaded,” said Matt, with the certainty of knowledge. “Invaded by a being of the utmost evil.”

The shaft of darkness touched down in front of him, incinerating the girl. Matt would mourn the loss of her body, but would remember it always.

High above, a female shape emerged from the ship, dressed in a traditional Japanese schoolgirl’s uniform with twin braids jutting from the sides of her head, almost like a demon’s horns but much more sinister. The woman hissed, “Ah, Matt Heywood. I have heard about you and your prowess at Pokémon Alpha Sapphire, and I find you quite alluring. You should join me and together we can sweep the Fictosphere and remake it in our own image!”

Matt shook his head, and his hair (which had finally achieved the extreme spikiness he had tried to obtain for so long, and which had achieved this feat at some point previous) gave the shaking of his head a pleasant additional movement. He said, “Sorry, Sailor Moon. While you are attractive, my heart belongs to another.”

Sailor Moon sneered. “Well then, I’ll vaporize your little girlfriend!”

Matt watched helplessly as the invader fulfilled her promise. Matt hadn’t even realized a woman was standing next to him, and only barely recognized her as the blonde who wore leggings and tight shirts. She would be missed.

“She wasn’t my girlfriend.”

The invader vaporized another girl, the one who wore tight jeans and tank tops. “Then her!” she snapped. “She must be your girlfriend!”

“No,” said Matt. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Well then,” said the invader, her tone quickly changing. She descended, hovering in front of Matt. He was aware that her chest was level with his eyes. “If you join us, you can have all the women you want.”

“I’m sorry, Sailor Moon,” said Matt. “You’re hot, but my heart belongs to another.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” replied Sailor Moon. “You just said you’re single.”

Matt’s mind went back to the doodle in his notebook. “I just haven’t met my True Love yet, the only one who can truly understand me and my love.”

“We can help with that, you idiot, and make sure you’re nice and ready for her–if you catch my meaning,” said Sailor Moon.

Matt turned away dramatically. “I have to remain pure for her. You’ll understand.” He then turned even more dramatically and thrust a single finger at her. “Now leave here!”

“Uh, no,” said Sailor Moon, leveling her weapon at Matt.

Before she could fire, another shaft of light erupted from a second unrelated portal. It engulfed Matt, searing off his clothing, elevating him, and giving him a really cool scar over one eye. Everyone gasped, and a few men and women fainted.

“Matt Heywood,” said the voice Matt assumed to be God, “you are the most beloved of my creations, the son I wish I had. You have been struck down by the most vile creature within the Fictosphere, but it was all part of my plan. I have need of you, and only by breaking you down can I build you up. Matt Heywood, with this powerful gift, you become–Matsu Her-O!”

The newly christened Matsu felt the power well up within him, and his already toned body became filled with the power of a Kryptonian Super-Saiyan infused with the mystic power of the Sorcerer Supreme. The only part of him that couldn’t handle it was the area around his eye, but this resulted in the really cool scar over his eye gaining an ever-present glow. He then became clothed in a blue gi.

“You will need all these powers and more to defeat Sailor Moon,” said God. “Now go forth and stop the Crystal Moon Regime, Matsu Her-O, for my greater glory!”

The shaft of light exploded, knocking everyone down, and Matsu Her-O emerged. He turned to Sailor Moon–which he now recognized as simply one of her many facets–and grinned. She shot at him, and he simply absorbed the blast.

“My turn,” he said, and unleashed a directed burst of energy at Sailor Moon. She screamed and disintegrated, and the warship above belched out demons as it ascended. Matsu knew he had to stop it, and he tore through the demons as he flew, racing against time in order to stop the ship from attacking another universe. The demonic horde was too much, and as a parting gift, the ship aimed a giant gun at Matsu and blasted him. He punched the first blast away, but the second hit him square on, and as he flew across the sky the crowds below gasped in horror as their hero seemed to fall.

When he landed, Matsu looked around and found himself somewhere on the African Savannah, if the lions and zebras were any indication. One zebra in particular caught Matsu’s eye, as it was fighting against a pride of lionesses with a fighting spirit almost akin to Matsu’s own.

“I would never normally disrupt nature, but that noble beast shall be my steed,” said Matsu, and he sprang into action, helping the zebra fend off its attackers. Once the lionesses were gone, the zebra reared and whinnied, and a light shone from the heavens and settled upon the zebra. The light began to speak.

“Matsu Her-O,” said a different voice than before, but one Matsu knew to be the voice of God. “The Crystal Moon Regime have fled this plane of reality and escaped into the Fictosphere. You alone must stop them.”

“I can’t do it alone,” said Matsu Her-O, even though he felt he probably could if he really wanted to.

“I have considered that,” said God, and suddenly, the zebra both contracted and expanded into the largest and most majestic dimensional skimmer Matsu Her-O had ever seen.

“I shall call this ship the Armageddon Zebra,” proclaimed Matsu, “and with it, I shall save the Fictosphere from the evils of the Crystal Moon Regime. I shall gather like-minded allies and together we will become the ultimate Her-O Force!”

“There is also a mech on the ship,” said God. “One that only you can pilot.”

“Excellent,” said Matsu. “I shall call it the Gladius.”

He entered the ship and punched in some coordinates. He hoped his enemies knew that he was coming. There was nothing they could do to stop him, and he would follow their evil throughout the planes of the Fictosphere.